Rampant Indigestion

“Jimmy Jojo” or Y0922 as he was known by us, was accidentally cooked by a wayward [CLASSIFIED] beam from an experimental [REDACTED]. After a short investigation, due to a high level of complaints regrading indigestion by much of our staff, we found that an order had been crossed between the morgue on level 3 and the Atrium food court processing department.

So, on that note, if anyone ate the “sloppy joe” special, at the Atrium’s Freekin cafe, last weekend, please report to the health center as soon as possible.

There were no remains to dispose of, if there were, they would have been disposed of in the usual fashion.

Suggestion box abuse

Attn Clones:

This is to address about 99% of the complaints stuffed into the suggestion box on a daily basis, specifically from the clone population working within the Mutant Farm. Yes, we are well aware that your job is unsafe, that’s why you exist. Yes, many of you tend to lose a limb from time to time but they do grow back, so stop whining, use the standard field kits topical anesthetic cream and report to the medical center after your shift. More importantly keep your head on a swivel and focus on the work. If you run out of cream, you can stop by Stores to requisition more, it’s not difficult. You practically pass by it every time you scrunch another piece of paper into the suggestion box.