Free range Mutant farming

Everyone may be familiar with the concept of mutation breeding, but did you know that there is a more natural, free range alternative?

As a pharmaceutical company that lays the groundwork for many modern medical conveniences, we’ve had to resort to some less-than-practical solutions in order to achieve our goals. We’ll spare you with the details, but the end result was a sprawling, subterranean ecosystem in which new breeds of animal, to which we refer to as mutants, interbreed and exist in a state of constantly evolving, equilibrium. Not confined in some cage, like our competitors.

This not only leads to a better quality of life for our products, but it also lets nature play a part in the process, having learned a long time ago, not to attempt containment of mother nature but to work alongside her, and share in the miracle of life before hacking it apart and harvesting its qualities to bring you, the consumer, a better quality of life in return.

Also, mother nature is a bitch and you do not want to get on her bad side, trust us on this, we paid a heavy price for that enlightenment.

Now of course, we can’t take credit for the idea of gene-splicing different combinations of DNA together. We can, however, for their accelerated evolution in our sheltered environment. The results of which have been incredible, and through a little R&D magic, made compatible with humans.

Take for example, our moderately successful line of RH-X products, marketed by our partners/re-sellers under the name, ‘rhino hands.’ For anyone wanting a little extra protection for your five fingered friends, one dose and you’ll be waking up the next day with the calloused hands of a career woodworker. Please note however, the directions on the bottle and heed all warnings on the packaging and in all advertisements. Do NOT exceed the recommended dosage for anything containing our products, we cannot stress this point enough, just don’t, we are very serious.

Check out our section regarding the Mutant Run for more information on some of the day-to-day activities of what it’s like to be a runner, committed to farm duty. And the precautions we take, to make this an excellent, and kind-of-safe place to plant down a career.